The Journey 341
Read: Mathew 1: 18-25
The news of a divorce is not a big news nowadays. Just like a child being born every minute in this world, I presume that divorce may also be taking place, but may be not on that same time duration. But in Indonesia, according to CNN news agency, a divorce is causing a huge national uproar and a fierce judicial battle is going on between two embittered couples and their families. The most funniest and strange part of this divorce incident is that the husband divorced his wife through texting. The couple concerned in this dramatic story is Aceng Fikri who is a district head in the Garut, West Java, and his 17 year old bride Fani Oktara. The marriage of Aceng and Fani lasted only four days and according to the lawyer of Aceng, when he found on the second day of his marriage that his wife was not a virgin, he decided to separate from Fani. The notice of divorce was given through a text message and Aceng say under the Islamic Shariah law, a husband can divorce his wife through text messaging. But Fani has denied the allegation of Aceng and she has also not taken this whole episode of divorce passively. She has also filed a police complaint against Aceng stating that it was not she who has cheated in this marriage, on the contrary it was Aceng who is a cheat. According to her, Aceng was already married and has also children from previous marriage, which he hid from her while getting married. Though polygamy is not against the Indonesian law, the Indonesian civil servant are prohibited from taking on second spouse, because of the strict regulations that government follows with regards to government servant and their private lives. With this marriage and divorce causing a stir and outcry among the Indonesians, the girls family has become public with their grievances and asked Aceng to tender a public apology. With this case getting national attention, the Indonesian President Susilo has ordered the an investigation into the whole issue through the ministry of Home Affairs. Meanwhile even the local legislative council in Garut has also set up a special committee to look into Aceng case. With the heat being raised up on Aceng, he has tendered a public apology, but he still stood by his version of the story stating that when he confronted her about her virginity, she did not deny his charges and hence he decided to end the union. There are many serious and frivolous charges that may affect marital ties resulting into divorce. But the case of divorcing through texting was one of its kind. When people like Aceng has gone miles and miles in term of using high tech gadgets and become tech savy, but mentally and emotionally they are still living in the 15th or the 16th century. I think this is one the of most contradicting phenomena of this century,. People have access to the latest technology and are very progressive in terms of the gadgets they use, but come to their private life or with relation to family and marriage, the thinking could be very primitive. It is in this context I believe the advent story teaches us about faithfulness and about the commitment that we need to put into a relationship both on our family level but also on our social level.
We are meditating on the theme “ Transformed Living” and the portion that we shall use for our meditation is from Mathew 1: 18-25. This is the portion that not only describes the birth of our Lord but also the circumstances that surround the birth of our Lord. The emotional and mental upheaval that both Joseph and Mary went through as they prepared to begin together their dream journey. Bible does not have much references nor passages that describe and show what type of an individual was Joseph and this portion from Mathew is the only portion that highlights the unique character and personality of Joseph. In v: 19, it is described that Joseph was a man who did what was right. “Right” may be in terms of the law of Moses and being very forthright in the observance of laws. The world of Joseph comes crashing down when he knows that his wife Mary is fathering a child that was not his own. This may have caused him anguish but the angel communicates to Joseph about God’s divine plan and providence with regards to the life of Joseph and Mary. It is here that you find Joseph true character coming out. Though he had the choice of publically disgracing her and even condemning Mary to be stoned to death, he chooses to take upon himself the burden of Mary and be a part of God’s divine plan even if it involves suffering for the sake of another person and putting on hold ones dream about ones life. What Joseph does is he moves up the wedding date and also with the announcement of Roman census, Joseph takes his wife Mary away from the prying eyes of his town and the probable gossip of the people. I think Joseph did not go through any pre martial counseling sessions nor did he have marriage preparation books and manual, nor even a support from his local parish priest. But Joseph becomes a paradigm of what it means to uphold the marriage vows. Joseph lives in the 1st century but his emotional and mental intellect was much more progressive than people living today in the 21st century. When people like Aceng can ask his wife about proof about her virginity, I think the time also has come when woman may also need to have proof from men that they are going to marry, that he is also someone who has maintained purity in life before marriage. More than all these questions, Joseph teaches us that in a marital relationship, it is not trying to maintain or justify who is right and who is wrong, who is just and who showed injustice but marital relationship is all about taking upon oneself the pain and the suffering of ones spouse, that may suddenly arise in a marital relationship, thus reflecting Godly love and commitment in our relationship and also becoming a model for other families who are going through crisis. This is what Joseph teaches us this advent and it is to such marital life style that God is calling all of us to.
Rev. Dr. Joe Joseph Kuruvilla
The news of a divorce is not a big news nowadays. Just like a child being born every minute in this world, I presume that divorce may also be taking place, but may be not on that same time duration. But in Indonesia, according to CNN news agency, a divorce is causing a huge national uproar and a fierce judicial battle is going on between two embittered couples and their families. The most funniest and strange part of this divorce incident is that the husband divorced his wife through texting. The couple concerned in this dramatic story is Aceng Fikri who is a district head in the Garut, West Java, and his 17 year old bride Fani Oktara. The marriage of Aceng and Fani lasted only four days and according to the lawyer of Aceng, when he found on the second day of his marriage that his wife was not a virgin, he decided to separate from Fani. The notice of divorce was given through a text message and Aceng say under the Islamic Shariah law, a husband can divorce his wife through text messaging. But Fani has denied the allegation of Aceng and she has also not taken this whole episode of divorce passively. She has also filed a police complaint against Aceng stating that it was not she who has cheated in this marriage, on the contrary it was Aceng who is a cheat. According to her, Aceng was already married and has also children from previous marriage, which he hid from her while getting married. Though polygamy is not against the Indonesian law, the Indonesian civil servant are prohibited from taking on second spouse, because of the strict regulations that government follows with regards to government servant and their private lives. With this marriage and divorce causing a stir and outcry among the Indonesians, the girls family has become public with their grievances and asked Aceng to tender a public apology. With this case getting national attention, the Indonesian President Susilo has ordered the an investigation into the whole issue through the ministry of Home Affairs. Meanwhile even the local legislative council in Garut has also set up a special committee to look into Aceng case. With the heat being raised up on Aceng, he has tendered a public apology, but he still stood by his version of the story stating that when he confronted her about her virginity, she did not deny his charges and hence he decided to end the union. There are many serious and frivolous charges that may affect marital ties resulting into divorce. But the case of divorcing through texting was one of its kind. When people like Aceng has gone miles and miles in term of using high tech gadgets and become tech savy, but mentally and emotionally they are still living in the 15th or the 16th century. I think this is one the of most contradicting phenomena of this century,. People have access to the latest technology and are very progressive in terms of the gadgets they use, but come to their private life or with relation to family and marriage, the thinking could be very primitive. It is in this context I believe the advent story teaches us about faithfulness and about the commitment that we need to put into a relationship both on our family level but also on our social level.
We are meditating on the theme “ Transformed Living” and the portion that we shall use for our meditation is from Mathew 1: 18-25. This is the portion that not only describes the birth of our Lord but also the circumstances that surround the birth of our Lord. The emotional and mental upheaval that both Joseph and Mary went through as they prepared to begin together their dream journey. Bible does not have much references nor passages that describe and show what type of an individual was Joseph and this portion from Mathew is the only portion that highlights the unique character and personality of Joseph. In v: 19, it is described that Joseph was a man who did what was right. “Right” may be in terms of the law of Moses and being very forthright in the observance of laws. The world of Joseph comes crashing down when he knows that his wife Mary is fathering a child that was not his own. This may have caused him anguish but the angel communicates to Joseph about God’s divine plan and providence with regards to the life of Joseph and Mary. It is here that you find Joseph true character coming out. Though he had the choice of publically disgracing her and even condemning Mary to be stoned to death, he chooses to take upon himself the burden of Mary and be a part of God’s divine plan even if it involves suffering for the sake of another person and putting on hold ones dream about ones life. What Joseph does is he moves up the wedding date and also with the announcement of Roman census, Joseph takes his wife Mary away from the prying eyes of his town and the probable gossip of the people. I think Joseph did not go through any pre martial counseling sessions nor did he have marriage preparation books and manual, nor even a support from his local parish priest. But Joseph becomes a paradigm of what it means to uphold the marriage vows. Joseph lives in the 1st century but his emotional and mental intellect was much more progressive than people living today in the 21st century. When people like Aceng can ask his wife about proof about her virginity, I think the time also has come when woman may also need to have proof from men that they are going to marry, that he is also someone who has maintained purity in life before marriage. More than all these questions, Joseph teaches us that in a marital relationship, it is not trying to maintain or justify who is right and who is wrong, who is just and who showed injustice but marital relationship is all about taking upon oneself the pain and the suffering of ones spouse, that may suddenly arise in a marital relationship, thus reflecting Godly love and commitment in our relationship and also becoming a model for other families who are going through crisis. This is what Joseph teaches us this advent and it is to such marital life style that God is calling all of us to.
Rev. Dr. Joe Joseph Kuruvilla